Hold Your Farts On Dates
Do you like to let a good old heart fart go free at home? Of course you do, it feels amazing, but not on your date. I have a married girlfriend and she still won’t poop or fart while he’s around and this marriage is going on 10 years. That’s too much for me to hide in a relationship, I’d rather hide those $200 shoes in my trunk. Farting is normal, because it’s apart of the digestion process and bacteria in your gut. You might also notice that you fart more when you eat certain foods that are more difficult to digest, like pinto or red beans, and some raw veggies cause us to fart up a storm.
I’ve learned on my dating experiences not to even partake in eating ranch dressing on hot wings because you’ll send smoke signals from your chair. Hold those farts until you reach a safe place, then let it rip! Research about farting is sparse, but there are studies suggesting that holding in farts isn’t good for us. The funny thing about farts is, you never know if they’ll be loud or soft silent bombs. The expulsion velocity of fast air exiting your body is almost like magic, and sometimes that magical air will stink up the environment when you’re on a date.
